five days ago i moved

into my own

place

 

five weeks after

you told me

by email

GO

FOREVER AND ALL ETERNITY

 

tonite

you knocked on my door

and smiled afraid

of me

and yourself

and wearing my favorite

pants of yours

 

and smiling

not knowing

what else to do

i showed you in and around

bathroom and towels and shower curtain and plunger

kitchen and plates and silverware and dish rack

studio room and futon and 12 year old stereo and bookcase

because

thats what people do

when

they havent seen each other

in a long time

exchange lists

of assets

 

you said

YOU DONT SMELL LIKE A BREWERY

i said

I BOUGHT FIVE NEW BOOKS TODAY

thinking

will you lay down and hold me in your arms

you said

I HAVE TO GO SOON

i said

I GOT INTO A FIGHT WITH THE BOSS TODAY MY DAY OFF

thinking

i have to keep talking or ill say something stupid

you said

I DONT LIKE THAT PAINTING

i said

THERES A CLOWN ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE CANVAS

thinking

i want to hold your hand and die

 

but you had to go

without a goodbye hug

you pulled away

as i poured

the first scotch

five scotches

and a bad poem

ago

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